Wake up, because the alarm clock says to get up. Have breakfast, because it is the most important meal of the day. Take a shower, because cleanliness is close to Godliness. Get dressed, because we’re all decent here. Turn off your lights to save electricity.

Drive to work, because you’d sweat through your suit if you biked. Sit in the traffic, because you obey the traffic laws. Get to work on time, because that’s what you do.

Get a coffee at the machine, because anything less than three before 10:00 isn’t going to work. Say good morning to everyone, because we all pretend that’s all we have. Turn on your computer and listen to the little chimes through all the stages. Open your email, because the nights don’t stop the requests from coming in. Get another coffee, because on a Tuesday the minimum should be raised to four before 10:00. Drink half of it in the kitchen, because it is a respite. Do your work, because we’re all decent here.

Go outside for lunch, because the sun is set by quitting time. Wear your coat, because the cold cuts through. Eat too much, and hope to not be sleepy later. Get back to work on time, because it is what we do.

Make yourself look busy, otherwise they ask questions. Let the afternoon slip by, because why not? Ask people if they are “having fun yet,” because we are all awful at the core. Take an unnecessarily long bathroom break, instead of yelling at your boss. Come up with an idea for a poem better than any you’ve ever read, because we are all geniuses at the core. Try to duck out a couple minutes early at the end of the day, because then you win.

Skip drinks after work, because you’ve exhausted all your insincere laughter. Make some soup at home and finish your podcast. Consider going for a walk that may take five hours, going into neighborhoods you’ve never been to, meeting people you never conceived you would know, spending a hushed night discussing matters of deeper meaning than you ever thought possible, then watch your show instead. Before the next episode, get some ice cream, because it soothes. After the fourth episode, go to bed, because the alarm will go off in nine hours. Sleep, because it is what we do.